


A Visit Before the End

by BirdBlue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Memories, Numengard, One-sided(ish) slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdBlue/pseuds/BirdBlue
Summary: Albus Dumbledore knows he is at death's door, that this may be his last night in the living world. So he decides to say goodbye to the last person with whom he still has unfinished business.





	A Visit Before the End

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so I'm currently rewriting my fanfics (hopefully also the ones on my old account) and this is one I did for the QLFC on ff.net in 2016 and I remember being pretty chuffed about it. I doubt I'll change much, but we'll see...
> 
> Prompts:
> 
> Write about a light character committing the sin of PRIDE or a dark character demonstrating the virtue of HUMILITY. (I chose to do a light character, aka Dumbledore, showing pride, but Grindelwald is a little humble at… one(?) point in the story. I think? Depends on how you define humble...)
> 
> (word) risk
> 
> (quote) 'The creation of a thousand forests is one acorn.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson
> 
> Enjoy!

_It's a strange thing, becoming old. As wonderful as it is, you tend to forget things. For instance, I could name all the properties of mandrake roots, but I could never tell_ _you_ _where I put my last good pair of woollen socks._

_However, my old, but usually stable, mind does have a knack for remembering the past._ _N_ _ot all of it, of course, but most of it. Good, or bad, my memories accompany me wherever I go._

_There are a few images that I keep coming back to now, at the close of my life._ _(As though my mind wishes to rid itself of them and make room for my new adventures_ _._ _)_ _B_ _eautiful things. Not for most, but as the muggle expression_ _states_ _'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. And so it was in my mind's eye. Everything I saw, everything I saw of him, was so tragically,_ _unfortunately_ _beautiful._

* * *

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore appeared in front of the imposing fortress. It's dark, towering walls were about as inviting as a dragon's mouth and much gloomier. The high gates around the grim castle opened and parted to let him walk through the withering garden.

Sightless wards grasped at his robes, washing over him; he could hear their humming in his ears, as they latched onto him for a few seconds, unsure if they should let their long-separated creator pass. In the end, they let him go and he walked into the courtyard they protected.

All the noise from outside of the transparent bubble of protective spells was blocked out; and the only sound was the playing of a small brook, somewhere in the distance. The little melody carried itself high above the rustling of leaves and snapping of twigs under Albus' feet. The wizard's purple robes fluttered over the fallen, decaying leaves, who, despite it being midsummer, had give up on life and left the now-bare trees to give each other space and think about their options.

Not only the plants around the castle were in an unfortunate condition, but even the walls and turrets were covered with moss and ivy the only colour on the dark grey stone. The flat stones under the headmaster's feet were slippery with mould and the rotten leftovers from the natural love affair of frond and wood.

He came to a halt at the tall, thin entrance above which the words 'For The Greater Good' were carved and hesitated for the first time this evening. A shadow of dread spread over his usually cheerful mind. His standard disposition of taking everything as lightly as a stroll in the park was gone in the finite reality of his visit.

After a moment of standing in thought, he grasped for the doorhandle and turned the ornate knob in cool, fair palms. Once inside, he noticed that the dank, dark stairways and corridors were as badly kept as the courtyard before it. Dirty, clammy and deathly cold, despite the warm, stuffy conditions in the summer night outside the gloomy fortress.

Albus wrapped the robes tighter around himself, before starting the long climb to the top of the tallest tower, where anything but a bedridden princess would be waiting for him.

* * *

_We were young, then. Fools. Handsome ones, at that,_ _if I dare say so myself_ _. In fact, I remember, that that was one of the first things which popped into my head, when I saw his merry, wild features. How beautiful he was. His mouth would stretch taut into a wide,_ _almost impish_ _smile, that showed his clean white teeth and his eyes would twinkle_ _like tiny stars_ _. He would look at you in such a way, that made you feel as though you were in_ _on_ _a_ _very special_ _secret of his. One he had not told anyone else, because you… You were special; he trusted you._

_In the end, he did tell me quite a few of his secrets. He would whisper them to me, as we lay on his bed, reading and talking. When things went silent or in the times he seemed more serious than most, the times he seemed to remember something very important; he would whisper his secrets into my ears, filling my head up with his sweet-sounding words. And I… I would listen, I would understand, I would know the pain he felt, the pain of being as brilliant as we thought we were, but never, never_ _being_ _allowed to grow to our full potential. That frustration; he would pour it out of himself and into me, where I would keep it for him, hold it close and take it on as my own._ _I would carry his burden willingly, because I loved him. Because I was a fool._

_On those nights, he would fall asleep beside me; his pleasant grin still_ _playing over_ _his perfect mouth. On those nights, I would spend hours watching him rest, his head on my chest, his slow,_ _rythmic_ _breath_ _ing_ _tickling the hairs on my neck._

_It was then when I felt proud: Proud to be his, proud that there was an 'us', proud of what we planned to become._

* * *

The door to the small cell was as grimy as everything else, the only difference being a small light coming from in between the thin bars, that covered the tiny square window set in the door.

Sure enough, once the door was opened, Albus' eyes were automatically drawn to the light of a small candle placed on the large stone windowsill in front of an empty stone archway, that looked out to the courtyard.

On that windowsill sat a man, one of his knees bent upward, one arm rested on it. His other leg dangled over the side of the wall, just above a fall that would surely lead him to his death, if it weren't for the metal collar around his neck, that would probably prevent him from falling but break his neck or strangle him while doing it, still resulting in a his sudden and uncomfortable demise.

Dumbledore recognise the posture and the way the man held himself almost immediately. But… but the hollowness of his eyes… The way his bones jutted out of his worn and wrinkled skin… The way the loose grey robe hung down, letting you see the structure of each of his ribs; it was all but familiar. Albus gulped, taking a deep, shaky breath before closing the heavy iron door behind him with trembling fingers.

"I saw you coming. You're slower than you were, you're getting old." spoke the man, still not looking at him, staring out onto the barren landscape. "It has been a long time, Albus.

"Indeed it has, Gellert," the wizard replied, gravely inclining his head to the once most feared man in the wizarding world. "I would like to say that I hope you are well, but you do not look it, physically, at any rate."

The man let out a raspy laugh, finally turning his head towards the man. "I am better than to be expected," he answered, his bright green eyes glittered in the light of the flickering candle and Albus felt a small pang of regret shoot through himself, as much as he tried to stop it. "I would offer you a seat, but I'm afraid there's nothing like a chair here and we are a little understaffed at the moment." Dumbledore nodded and seated himself on the edge of the stone bed, which was the only furniture in the room. Gellert grinned at him, his face splitting into the smile Albus remembered so well. "Why have you come, old friend? Why now? You'll have to forgive me, when I say that this cannot be a visit out of mere curtsy."

Albus, for the first time during the conversation, sent him a quick smile. "I would not insult your intelligence by pretending it is, Gellert. And even if I did, as you have already said, believing me would be hard." His right hand fumbled with his right sleeve nervously. "My time is running out. I have done my best to prolong my presence in this world, but..." He pushed back his sleeve, revealing the blackened and shrivelled flesh underneath, as a beast tamer would reveal his most dangerous creature. "Now, I am afraid I will not live to see the dawn.

Gellert swung his legs over the sill, so his bare feet rested on the hard stone floor. "That is indeed powerful magic, but it will not kill you, not until a few weeks time, at least," he said, reaching out and taking the marred skin in his own hands. Dumbledore winced, almost unnoticeably, but Gellert saw it all too clearly. He traced a finger over the flesh, carefully, almost tenderly. "Whom, may I ask, did this?"

"Voldemort," replied the bearded wizard, retrieving his hand from the clutches of the aged sorcerer. The man in front of him let out another bout of his raspy laughter.

"Hah! I always told you your kind-heartedness would be the death of you! You should have nipped him in the bud before he had a chance! It would have been so simple, if you had the nerve!" Grindelwald snarled wickedly: "And now, look at you, Albus! Dying at the hand of your own student! Fie, friend, fie! You're old age has turned you into a senile fool!"

Dumbledore stood up. The evening light was gone from the room. His usually cheeriness washed away with it's warm rays; shadows surrounded him like deadly shrouds. "Do not lecture me in bravery! You, who slaughtered innocence humans like cattle! All for the crime of being muggles!" he bellowed. His voice was deep and menacing, like a predatory animal ready to pounce. "The brave would never commit such an atrocity!" His eyes grew sad and he looked tired, older than ever. "Tom… was a mere boy. I saw, that he had strange ways. But I… I never imagined he would go to such lengths to reinforce his beliefs, to reinforce his… life. If you can call it that. Dark magic ate away at his once brilliant mind… Sometimes I think- Sometimes I think, if I had tried." He took a shaky breath. "I could have changed him… Maybe I could have changed you." He sank back onto the stone bed.

Grindelwald shook his head, looking at the floor in the face of his companion's rage. "I am not proud of a lot of the things I have done," he admitted, quietly, almost too softly for his neighbour to hear, "But I do not think you could have changed me, not any more than I could change you, after..."

* * *

_The funeral was horribly real. My brother shouted abuse at me, eventually cracking when I would not answer him and punching me in my face. I don't believe I have ever felt more deserving of pain than on that day. It had been I, after all, who had let him into our lives. It had been I, who had hung on his every word. And I it was I, who walked away, with more than just a broken nose, but a broken heart and an empty home._

_A few weeks later, I remember opening the door to find him standing in front of me, his blond hair ruffled, green eyes searching for a morsel_ _of_ _forgiveness he knew I could not give. I tried to stop him from talking, for I knew that once he started, I would listen and once I listened, he would have me. I told him to leave, to go anywhere, anywhere but here. I can still remember each sentence that came spilling out of his mouth._

" _Albus, please, do not turn me away… We can still do everything we dreamed of, still make the world better, still become great,_ _powerful_ _wizards. It was wrong of me to hurt your brother, wrong of me to start that fight. I see that now… Believe me, I regret it with all my heart. I need you by my side, Albus. I need you. Please do not shy away from me. Please, Albus."_

_He spoke quickly, all the while, searching with his beautiful green eyes, searching for something he could use to entice me back to him. I shook my head, my voice cracked when I spoke, telling him that he had to go, telling him that I could not be part of his great plans, not after I had seen the destruction they could-_ _no, would_ _cause._

" _Nothing like this will happen again; you have to believe me. I do not want to bring you any more pain, not now. It hurts me to see you like this and I will never risk hurting you again. I will never risk losing you. Stay with me by my side. We need each other, we are good together. Together we can do anything."_

_He reached out to touch me, maybe even to hold me, but I shied away, leaving him furious, all the promises of bettering himself gone as rage took hold of his mind. Rage at being deprived of the boy he had moulded to shape his vision of the world. The boy, whose frustration he had used to plant seeds of bigotry and pretensive greatness in his mind._ _The boy, who had been foolish enough to believe in his promises._

" _And how do you expect to survive on your own?! You have no one now! No one! Besides… Is love answered by hate not the most painful thing in the world? You don't want me to hate you, Albus."_

_I felt faint at this. How long had he known? How long had he been using my own feelings for his own advantage? I felt my heart breaking, again. The already shattered pieces splitting onto a thousand tiny shards. He must have seen my anguish, because he reached out to touch me again, rubbing my shoulder._

" _I can not say that I feel the same for you. But perhaps, that could change… I feel that we would be good together. Strong, greater than any wizards or witches before us. I could learn to love you, I am sure of it. I care about you more than anyone else in this world, it would only be a matter of time..."_

_Before I could stop him, he kissed me… His lips pressed against me, kissing with a wild passion that left me breathless and confused. He held me close, his breath against my ear._

" _Please, Albus, don't leave me all alone."_

_And I wanted to stay, with all my heart, I wanted to believe in the things he said, I wanted to believe that he would do right by me, that he was not just using me… But with intelligence comes pain. I was not so stupid as to believe in the things he said._

_I pushed him away, before he could say another word, murmuring for him to go, to leave, to do anything but stay._

_As the door clicked back in place, I could hear his scream of rage, behind it and a loud crack, as he disappeared from the next few years of my life._

* * *

"There is something I need to warn you about." Gellert narrowed his eyes, but made no move to stop him from talking, curiousity taking hold of him. "Voldemort knows about the Elder wand. He will come looking for it, before long. You must not tell him where it is."

"He will torture me, probably kill me, too," replied the skeletal figure, showing almost no emotion. Dumbledore nodded silently; intense pain inhabited his electric blue eyes. They went silent for a while, before Grindelwald finally spoke.

"I will do it," he said, chuckling at the shocked look on his companion's face. "Withering away here is not the death I would like to imagine for myself, Albus. I would like to go out on a high note, even if that note is telling this 'Dark Lord' what I think of his childish ways."

"I would like to see the look on his face, but I do not think I will be here to see it," the headmaster said, before pausing. "There is something else I would like to ask you."

"I know," said Grindelwald, silencing the other man with an almost pitying gaze. "And yet I do not. I never saw who it was who killed her, Albus. I would tell you, if I did. After all, it is not as though I have anything to loose, not anymore." He examined Dumbledore for a reaction, but the man just nodded.

"Thank you, old friend." He stood up, robes flowing around him. "I wish I could say I will see you again, but I fear this is goodbye."

"Before you go, let me ask you a question, Albus," Grindelwald said, his friend turning to look at him, quizzically. "The day you defeated me, what did you feel?"

"Pride."

Gellert narrowed his eyes to slits. "Pride?" he asked, testily. "You were proud of defeating me, humiliating me in front of the whole of the magical world?"

"No, I was proud of saving you. I was proud that I could overcome what I felt for you, what I still feel for you, to do the better thing. To act for the greater good." The captive wizard smiled at this, his eyes glittering. "I was proud that I had known you as the wizard you were, rather than the monster you had become." Albus returned the smile, sadly. "I was proud that I could save the world from that monster and I am proud that I have tried my best to do the same ever since."

Gellert raised an eyebrow. "And you think it will help? Your pride? You are but one man, Albus. One man can not change world."

"The creation of a thousand forests is one acorn," the man before him answered, jovially. "I am the first, but I will not be the last. Many people share my dreams of making this world better."

Gellert looked at him, strangely. "You were wrong to say that this is goodbye, Albus," he told his former captor, grinning. "Death is but a door to a greater adventure and I know you will be on the other side, once I step through it. We will see each other again. Maybe then we will settle our differences."

Albus Dumbledore's eyes glistened in the dim light and he smiled. "I hope we will, Gellert."

And with that, he dissapeared into the night and away to his last great adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to edit! I almost teared up at the end… I really wish this pairing had had their moment in the books.
> 
> Thanks to Pete (petethehotdog) on ff.net for helping me with editing it during the challenge and with commas and so on (I still don't think I have the punctuation completely right, but it's at least better than the original version). You are wonderful!
> 
> So, anyway, please tell me what you thought about the story, in either a comment, or message me! And goodbye! :D


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